Relationships

So my friends and I have been talking a lot about people and relationships and chemistry and what/who we are looking for in life. While at it, I have developed a theory of a perfect relationship that can last a lifetime (I only say I've developed it because it is a product of my own thinking but by saying so I don't assume someone else haven't thought like this before or thinks like this now).

I think it takes three things for such a relationship to exist:
1) friendship
2) love
3) being in love.

Absence of one or more of these three makes a relationship different and, in my mind, imperfect. Let me explain.

Friendship implies trust and openness to each other. True friends can tell each other everything and expect true, unbiased reactions from one another. Friendship is not a dependency but rather a fruitful union of minds and souls that carries no sexual tension and therefore lets a person share all his or her experiences, thoughts and feelings with the other. True friends for me cannot be jealous because part of a true friendship is allowing the other person freedom of personal choices and enjoying such freedom yourself.

Love is a desire to be a part of another person while allowing them to be a part of you. If friends, albeit sharing their lives with each other live them separately, love makes people live one life together. Life for them becomes about them. I and You dissolve in We. Love consumes and rewards. It is sensual and sexual.

Finally, being in love is a euphoria that is sometimes instilled in us for some reason in relationship to something or someone. Being in love doesn't implied loving or being love. We can be in love with a pop star or a TV personality, or even a certain car (jeez!). It doesn't mean much in and of itself but, when added to the mix, makes it powerful and long lasting.

So what happens when all three ingredients are present? As friends, the two people share each others emotions, feelings and any other experiences outside the relationship. At the same time, as lovers, they let these things be a part of their union, enriching it and letting both of them live this life of Us. The part of each of them in one another becomes more colorful and exciting as more things are shared. They trust each other ultimately, with their minds and bodies. There's nothing in between the two people. No barriers, no walls, no checkpoints. Finally, if they are also in love with each other, they live in a world that is just better than it really is. They may not have a job/income/parents/house, etc. they would like to have but all those things are diluted by the fact that there's a person in their life that makes them smile when they wake up in the morning or come home thinking of him or her. Being in love with a person can make us fly. If that person also shares love and friendship with us, we fly together and nothing is more exiting.

Is this possible? I hope so. I also hope it's possible in my case. Time will tell.