Fortune cookie

Word to word: "You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly."

I mean, are there still doubts why men rule the world?! Remembering The War of the Roses: "Honey, you are not equipped!" It's all about the penis. Even the Chinese food industry is catching up.

How sad...

Bustling Saint Louis

To say the least, our tango scene has been buzzing the past few months. So buzzing has it been that I had to take a break. We would have 3-4 milongas a week. Great, one would say. I would tend to agree if we were speaking of, say, Portland or Denver or Seattle or the likes. We are speaking of Saint Louis where the whole tango community is about 50 souls tops. Yes, we have newcomers and people who hang around for a while but the ones who really stick are not as numerous.

So I had a major burnout and had to get away right when Susana Miller was in town. From what I heard, there were about 40 people at her classes due to space limitations and the organizers had to close the registration completely a couple of days before the start of the workshop. Strangely, I don't feel that I missed that much.

Not to be critical of the folks from the community I belong to, but I just feel that the couple that organizers all the events are out to put Saint Louis on the map at any cost. While the intention is nice, the implementation leaves a lot to desire. First, they managed to turn a lot of people against them or at least made them stop wanting to help, by behaving like they were the gods of all. Then, they brought an asshole of a teacher (not my opinion but rather that of the followers that danced with the guy). They have brought him twice since and are bringing him again soon. They bring good teachers as well, I have to give them that. The ugly thing about them is the exclusivity. If they brought someone, noone else can bring that teacher anymore. Jeez, good luck maintaining friendly relationship with all of us! Everyone they bring, they bring for close embrace, even though some of the teachers have and can teach amazing open material (thank god they didn't get to Alex Krebs first!!!).

Anyways. I feel like this post went every possible direction and didn't have a single underlying idea besides the fact that I am at a loss for words when I see how poorly people do things and how easily they alienate themselves from others.

Gotta say though that people I hang with are super nice and all pretty good dancers. So if you pass Saint Louis on your way somewhere or go there on a job (it is an unlikely tourist destination), drop me a line and I'll be happy to introduce you to our little tango gang.

Relationships

So my friends and I have been talking a lot about people and relationships and chemistry and what/who we are looking for in life. While at it, I have developed a theory of a perfect relationship that can last a lifetime (I only say I've developed it because it is a product of my own thinking but by saying so I don't assume someone else haven't thought like this before or thinks like this now).

I think it takes three things for such a relationship to exist:
1) friendship
2) love
3) being in love.

Absence of one or more of these three makes a relationship different and, in my mind, imperfect. Let me explain.

Friendship implies trust and openness to each other. True friends can tell each other everything and expect true, unbiased reactions from one another. Friendship is not a dependency but rather a fruitful union of minds and souls that carries no sexual tension and therefore lets a person share all his or her experiences, thoughts and feelings with the other. True friends for me cannot be jealous because part of a true friendship is allowing the other person freedom of personal choices and enjoying such freedom yourself.

Love is a desire to be a part of another person while allowing them to be a part of you. If friends, albeit sharing their lives with each other live them separately, love makes people live one life together. Life for them becomes about them. I and You dissolve in We. Love consumes and rewards. It is sensual and sexual.

Finally, being in love is a euphoria that is sometimes instilled in us for some reason in relationship to something or someone. Being in love doesn't implied loving or being love. We can be in love with a pop star or a TV personality, or even a certain car (jeez!). It doesn't mean much in and of itself but, when added to the mix, makes it powerful and long lasting.

So what happens when all three ingredients are present? As friends, the two people share each others emotions, feelings and any other experiences outside the relationship. At the same time, as lovers, they let these things be a part of their union, enriching it and letting both of them live this life of Us. The part of each of them in one another becomes more colorful and exciting as more things are shared. They trust each other ultimately, with their minds and bodies. There's nothing in between the two people. No barriers, no walls, no checkpoints. Finally, if they are also in love with each other, they live in a world that is just better than it really is. They may not have a job/income/parents/house, etc. they would like to have but all those things are diluted by the fact that there's a person in their life that makes them smile when they wake up in the morning or come home thinking of him or her. Being in love with a person can make us fly. If that person also shares love and friendship with us, we fly together and nothing is more exiting.

Is this possible? I hope so. I also hope it's possible in my case. Time will tell.